My mother-in-law is an awesome cook and when she visits, my children are spoiled rotten with delicious home made treats. When I get home from work, I am greeted by the sweet smell of recently cooked mandazi (African donuts) or chapati (African flat bread). As I make my way to the kitchen, I am greeted by half eaten pieces of delicious treats on the table. After begging bibi (grandma) to cook for them, my children take a couple of bites of the mandazi and are satisfied enough to stop eating and walk away from the food. What’s left on the plate (and indeed the kitchen counter) is for mom and dad to eat.
While I hate the fact that the boys only take bites of the foods that they beg for, I secretly admire them because they are able to do what most adults simply can not do; listen to their bodies for signs and symptoms of fullness and stop eating when full. In the book “Intuitive Eating, A Revolutionary Program That Works” Registered Dietitians, Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch, describe this ability to use your body as a guide of what to eat and in what portions, as “intuitive eating.” There are 10 main principles to their theory three of which are listed below:
1. Eat for Physical Rather than Emotional Reasons
So many times we eat for reasons other than hunger. We eat because we are happy, sad, bored or emotional. The unfortunate thing about this is that the food choices made at this time are not the most nutritionally sound. We grab the sweets, chips and other high calorie, high fat snack foods that are in sight and eat even though our bodies are not physically hungry. Sound familiar? Toddlers on the other hand are more intuitive in that they listen to their bodies. They eat enough to fill their bellies and then walk away from their plates. Yes, they still ask for goodies and treats but a sad child rarely reaches for the big tub of ice cream. Rather, (s)he will have a melt down and cry his/her sadness away. Take the cue from your toddler and eat for physical hunger. When you find yourself reaching for an unplanned meal or snack, stop and ask yourself, “AM I REALLY HUNGRY?” If your answer is yes, then choose a healthy snack and move on. If you discover that you are not really hungry, avoid the snack and do something to take your mind and body away from eating.
2. Rely on Internal Hunger and Satiety Cues
My son sometimes comes to me on the” verge of death” from hunger. It is that point that he can not wait. He simply must eat. I load his plate with food, he sits at the table and a few minutes later, he asks to be excused and leaves half of the food on the plate. This happens regardless of what is on his plate. Once he is full, he is full and stops eating. He unknowingly pays attention to his body and allows it to tell him when to eat and how much to eat. As adults, we need to get back to listening to our bodies for cues of physical hunger and satiety. Physical hunger (real hunger) starts slow and gets stronger with time. It is generally marked with lightheadedness, a growling tummy and weakness. It differs from emotional hunger (fake hunger) which often comes suddenly with an intense urge to eat something (often high in calories, fat and sugar). It is often triggered by an event, conversation or interaction in which emotions are involved. If you find yourself hungry for emotional reasons, take a walk, read a book, find a physical activity that takes you away from eating. If eating to satisfy internal hunger, pay attention to your internal monitors. Studies suggest that it takes 20 minutes for your brain to receive the message that you are full. For that reason, eat slowly and pause half way into your meal. Stop when you feel satisfied and do not allow yourself to get extremely full.
3. Unconditional Permission to Eat
Kids will eat the foods that they like and avoid those they don’t. It is just that simple. If they feel like eating fruit one minute and chocolate cake then next, they ask for and eat it until they are satisfied. To them, there is no such thing as a good or bad food. In our never ending search of the “perfect” diet and waist line, we have taken away that permission to eat. We banish various foods from our diets and take ourselves on a guilt trip when we eat the foods that we like. Intuitive eating allows gives you the permission to eat without the restriction of rigid diets and eating plans. You simply give yourself permission to eat when you are hungry and allow yourself to indulge every once in a while.
As parents we consistently worry about our children eating enough to nourish their growing bodies. We issue all sorts of threats and bribes to get them to take a couple extra bites. Truth of the matter is that no child will ever intentionally starve him/herself. Rather than coax our children to continue to eat when they tell us they are full, we should take a cue from their book and retrain ourselves to stop when we are full and stop the madness of restrictive diets.